The Interview That Wasn't....

Let me get straight to the point; the interview was a complete fiasco.

I knew the location I was heading to was not all that accessible but since they do have another office I was willing to go out to this one for the interview. I always like to have a sense of the commute anyway, before I make decisions. The trip out there took longer than I expected but fortunately I still arrived on time.

The interviewer, on the other hand, didn’t arrive at all.

Turns out, the lovely doctor is pregnant, and a bit…uhm…unreliable in the memory department at the moment. She’d apparently forgotten to inform her staff that she’d booked this interview (by email), and therefore it never got put down on any calendars.

She then went and booked an ultrasound for the same time as my interview.

Could I possibly reschedule for next week?

Well, considering I was forced to take some time off to get to this interview, and it took close to two hours to get there…

Nope. Sorry. Can’t be done.

At this point I asserted myself and suggested that if the doctor would like we could have a pre-interview over the phone sometime in the next week, and if we decide to go ahead and explore it further we can book a second interview.

I’m very proud of myself for that.

The fiasco doesn’t end there, however; as it turns out the bus service to this area is limited.

Very, very limited.

Unknown to me, the bus route I’d taken to get there was a one-way-only deal, for just a few hours in the day, strictly a commuter. One wouldn’t arrive to take me home until…oh about 6:30.

In the morning.

I found this out by texting the bus stop number to Translink who then texts you the schedule for the stop you’re at. Fantastic idea, that! Thank goodness for cell phones.

So now, after spending hours getting there for absolutely nothing, I’m stuck out in the middle of nowhere, with no idea how I’m getting home.

After a chat with R., who researched my options from afar via internet, and a chat with a chance stranger coming by to catch a bus, I was able to find out that a different bus - which ran hourly - was due in about 40 minutes.

I’d just missed the previous one since I’d stopped to grab a quick coffee to fuel me for the long trip home, not that I’d have known to grab that particular bus. I like to think I’d have consulted the driver anyway and not let it go by; a policy R. has now made me promise to stick by. (A very smart policy, obviously.)

The young chevalier - who I knew to trust because he was wearing these great funky fashionable glasses - explained how to get where I was going by this less direct bus route. Since he was going there too, I was able to follow him, and get easily home. Not quickly, but at least without any further trauma.

Thank goodness for the transit commuter code of ethics that urges all of us who are dependent on buses to lend a fellow traveller a metaphorical beacon and map.

This almost surreal experience jut goes to confirm two things I already knew.

1) No commuter should ever, ever, ever be without a cell phone.

2) I hate the suburbs.

R. was pretty aggravated by the situation I’d been put in; he’s seriously doubting that this is a reliable company to consider working for. I can see his point, although everyone makes mistakes and having known enough fertile women personally I do know that the hormones (and often just plain fatigue) of pregnancy can cause forgetfulness.

So far, I’ve yet to hear from the fertile doctor or even receive an email of apology, even though I made it clear that I’d come a long way and taken some time off to meet with her. I do think that’s in pretty bad taste, barring some crisis that has prevented her from taking the few minutes it would take.

R. may be right.

(He often is…)

Thus begins, less auspiciously than I’d hoped, my job hunt. I like to think things will get better from here…

We shall see.

Options...

Well, I have a job interview on Thursday. The optometrist who's looking to train someone as a visual therapist has talked me into going out to talk to her.

The money seems reasonable, the job interesting. I have no doubt I'd be good at it, with all my experience with special needs kids and their families. Part of me likes the idea of working for at least another year; financially, anyway.

I could put more money aside, even take a photography course in the meantime.

My math test results stand for 5 years before I’d be required to write that again. I could probably take the necessary communications courses online as well, so when I did eventually go back for an optician degree I'd have less of a course load and could maybe even continue working part-time as a visual therapist. I don’t think they’re offered as online/distance education by Douglas College at this time, but I believe one can take those kinds of general courses through any college and transfer the credits.

I’d have a year in the field to be sure that I actually do want to become an optician before investing all that time and money, and it would be a definite benefit to have this experience when the time came to take the course.

It all sounds very practical.

However, part of me is extremely fired up about the idea of going back to college. I really love learning, and the whole school experience. I want to walk the campus with my books in hand and feel the energy rush of being surrounded by people who are excited about their future. People who still believe they can achieve their dreams.

In the day to day work grind so many of us lose that enthusiasm and become jaded and lazy. We stop believing in dreams; stop making goals for our selves. Trust me, I see glimmers of it in myself, and that’s how I know my time to move on is long overdue.

I don’t know what the future will hold, and the job interview may prove to be a dead end…but it’s nice to know there are options. I was certainly having my moments of doubt over the last two years.

Stay Tuned!

Never Surrender!

She-Who-Is-Never-Rational, otherwise known as my boss, has asked me to write a resignation letter for my file.

Hello??

Children, if we look back in our history books to that day in 2007 when She-Who-Never-Makes-Sense delivered me a letter stating clearly that the school would be "unable to offer you a contract past the 2007-2008 school year" unless I consented to spending valuable time and money going back to get a diploma in something I’ve excelled at for over 25 years, we will see clearly that I, like many conquered peoples, did not choose my fate. I was run over by a tyrant with more power than myself and little regard for humanity. Or even common sense.

Earlier this week she sent in her general, She-Who-Cannot-Bend-A-Rule, in order to deliver this demand for written confirmation of my impending doom. I told the General that I could not write a resignation letter, as I am, in fact, not resigning!

The General was very confused, having not heard anything about this letter, or my contract not being renewed. The General stated that, like all good soldiers, she was doing what she was told to do, which was to state on my Record Of Employment that I was leaving to go back to school. A truth, from their point of view, but not the whole truth.

A semi-truth, which would likely preclude me from receiving the E.I benefits I have earned after working 17 long, hard, financially disastrous years in that bizarre little place.

Thanks for the years of service, please insert this boot anally, and have a good life.

I have the day off work today, so of course R. and I ventured down to the local Employment Insurance office to try and get at least some coherent answers out of the red tape fetishists we call our government.

(Yes, we are silly optimists and no, we didn’t get many answers.

But, at least now, I do know who I have to contact to get some help in this transition, and eventually the long, winding, unmarked path to my future will lead me somewhere other than on the street eating cat food.

Okay, I’m exaggerating, but bear with me. It’s been an annoying, stressful journey so far, and I’m battling a cold right now. Snarkiness is allowed.

As for the college path, I’m booked to re-take my math exam on Wednesday. Any numerical thoughts directed my way are greatly appreciated and karmic-ly rewarded!

Stay Tuned!

What's It Worth To You?

The lovely PK, in a true show of friendship, sent me a posting to a job listing, as my current employment situation ends in June, after 17 years. (As we're all aware...)

The posting was for a job as a childcare worker/nanny, in keeping with my experience as a special needs educator...

The posting demands all kinds of certificates and diplomas, now commonly requested in Canada for such jobs.

The wage TOPS out at $18 per hr.

It involves developing an art, drama, music, and enriched play curriculum, as well as seeing to snacks and personal care, for three kids, ages 1 - 5, and they want to pay between $15 and $18 an hour?

I'm glad I'm getting out of the field for good. It's truly pathetic that we think so little of the people who mold and raise our kids while we run off to work at jobs paying much, much more. Shows how we value their future...Our future since these children will someday run the country, ot to mention the old age homes we'll be stuck in.

Grrrr!

I do appreciate KP thinking about me, though. I'm working hard on my math drills and WILL ace the damn re-exam on April 30th, and WILL get accepted into the Optician program, where I will finally receive a decent wage for my services.

I refuse to think otherwise.

Okay, enough ranting. I'm off to take care of my sore back, thanks to a day spent on a field trip with a troop of excited kids. (Do love the Vancouver Aquarium, though!)

Math drills can wait until evening...

Update On The Math Situation

I sure appreciate all the words of support in response to my last entry. You guys are great!

I've talked to my ex-sister-in-law, who once ran a business college in Kelowna. She states that there is always room for the college to make exemptions, especially for mature students. Colleges need to fill seats, and since there has been a dip in college attendance in the last few years chances are good I can plead my case on this.

I was pretty bummed out by my scores on the math test but I've had some time to think about it. Also, according to their rules I have to re-take the whole test again. Not sure why, when I only "failed" one section.

I'm going to be asking the college to accept my score on the test as a pass. At the moment I'm brainstorming my case based on these arguments:

- In total my score on the test was 94/117, or 80%, this is generally accepted as a pretty respectable score.

- I easily passed 2 of the 3 sections on the test.

- The time limit for the computation section of the test, which works out to 45 seconds per question, was the only reason I missed passing Section Two. I missed by 4 points - the exact number of questions I was forced to leave unanswered.

- How necessary is the time limit when in reality such computations are usually done by calculator? Isn't the important thing that the test proved I could do the calculations if necessary?

- Why is it necessary for a re-take to involve all 3 sections of the test?

- I'm a mature student with a full-time job, coming out to retake the test would constitute a hardship as I would be required to take a day's unpaid leave from my job.

I'm still working on my argument and will be getting lots of help from R., and some co-workers who know the inside of the education system.

Wish me luck!!

And a New Wardrobe...

So, it's official. After 17 years of working at the school I'm now about to be truly unemployed in less than 4 months.

Well, we knew it was coming, it was unavoidable, and it's all for the best...

So is dental work. Not to mention needles, mammograms, and prostrate tests.

Doesn't mean we enjoy them.

(Of course, some of you sickos out there actually do enjoy those, come to think of it...put down your hands and stop volunteering. Sheesh!)

Registering for college at my age is no harder...and no easier...than registering at 19 years old. The only difference is that you don't see the world with rose-coloured glasses anymore, which means you see the risks and benefits a lot more clearly.

Sometimes blurry is good. Maybe it would be easier if I took off my glasses?

Ah well, just think of the cute little uniforms I'll be able to wear...

Sleepless In Vancouver

Last night was a very rough night.

It started out wonderfully with amazing greek food and a bottle of Retsina with a few of my favourite people.

Once I crawled into bed it all went downhill. I think it may be the early stages of menopause (gasp!!) and the stress of trying to arrange everything to get into this college program. My free time is so limited right now with working longer hours and trying to fit in medical appointments, college tests and everything else.

My boss is being fairly supportive of the process but when I approached her for a personal day in order to schedule a writing assessment she was unwilling to grant it without docking me a day wages.

Needless to say when one is contemplating 2 years as a full-time student you start counting every dollar in advance. I just can't afford it.

I was very upset. Partly hormones I guess, but also frustration with a work standard that punishes you for being honest and ethical. Had I just kept my mouth shut and called in sick everything would have been fine.

You'd think I'd learn after all these years that playing by the rules gets you nowhere in the work place. At least not in my present workplace. Lying seems to be the only way to go. And I can't stand being forced to lie.

<-- insert sound of palm smacking forehead repeatedly.

It really is just the straw that broke the camel's back. I have no time to fool around on the phone trying to schedule and re-schedule appointments into the few weekend hours available. Let alone free time to actually follow through on them.

Without R. I might have given up already. He's been very pro-active about taking on some of the calling and scheduling, and keeps me calm when I start to get overwhelmed.

Last night he had to suffer through my late night tears, insomnia, and the fact that I couldn't stop doing math in my brain every time I tried to close my eyes.

I finally spent two very late night hours on the couch reading a book. I've heard of people doing this but have never suffered from sleep issues so I was miserable at the thought of forsaking bed when all I wanted was to sleep.

I have better empathy for insomniacs now.

Off to see a movie with J. while R. holds proverbial hands with the 'Nucks via TV tonight.

Hopefully there'll be a full night's sleep tonight. Of course, I was naughty and did almost 3 hours of math work this afternoon so I may be kicking myself in fractions, decimals and percentages tonight...somewhere around 2 am, perhaps?

::sigh::

PS, thanks for the sip of Ouzo last night, J.!! ::grin:: I've decide your unwillingness to give up your olives for me in no way jeopardizes your best-girlfriend status - after all you did give me L.'s olive. (Girlfriends take precedence over boyfriends sometimes, eh?)

Anxiety Rears Its Ugly Head...

Wow, only been back to work a week and my anxiety level is through the roof.

Freaked out about the upcoming year and whether I'll land up unemployed and unemployable by June. I know somehow things will work out, they always do, but I sure feel like I'm about to find myself up the creek without the proverbial high-powered outboard motor...or even a damn paddle.

Politics are a bitch.

The powers that be have decided they want me to upgrade my credentials since I’ve been in the field so long that my old papers are pretty much parchment.

This is something they’ve been harping on for a few years now, but try as I might I can’t see myself getting thousands of dollars into debt to take a course I could teach in my sleep. I’m already in more debt than I ever expected to be because in 2005 they decided to place me on part-time in order to save themselves a few hundred dollars. They likely saw no financial gain from that decision and I end up owing Visa a few thousand dollars.

Can you say, Screw me?

Now they look at me blankly when I say there’s just no way I can afford to go back to college. The fact that they’ve made it impossible for me to afford it escapes them totally, even though I was very direct in explaining the situation.

(Something that was hard on my pride and ego…)

I’m greeted with the unwavering response of Well, if you aren’t enrolled in the program by January it’s unlikely we can re-hire you.

A decision not brought on by licensing requirements. A decision brought on by administrative coldness, and perhaps a bit of schadenfreude.

Nice way to show how much they appreciate all the years I’ve put heart and soul into helping deaf children and their families achieve their dreams.

You know, they say following your passion can make you blind and stupid.

I guess I’m a textbook example.

All I wanted was a modest career where I could love my work and make a small difference in the lives of a few people…but here I am, looking at starting over from scratch at 48 years old with nothing much to show for all my years of hard work and dedication.

Ah well, I have little choice but to trust in The Universe. Answers will come in time, I suppose.

Add this to being completely broke after my NY trip and my inability to dredge up the courage to approach my boss for a small advance. She’s less approachable than usual due to the stresses of a new school year starting and I have no energy to enter that lion’s den.

Hmmm, toss in some regret over eating movie theatre popcorn last night. Something I almost never do, but given the stresses of the week, I caved. There goes a whole week of healthy eating.

::sigh::

I’m not sure why I’m even writing about this as it’s not my nature to write such negative and personal things in my online blog.

Maybe it’s partly because I’m trying not to focus on how I disappointed my dominant yesterday.

Nothing so serious we can’t talk it through, I believe. As close as I can figure it was brought on by a failure on my part to inform him of a change in plans; a mixture of several exhausting days of stress and fatigue and a miscalculation about the casual nature of a time commitment.

(Seems it was less casual then I took it to be.)

I do take the blame, I’m sure the misunderstanding was all on my part. It’s not like I’ve been thinking all that clearly the last few evenings.

I have every reason to believe things will work out fine but if we know anything at all about submissive personalities it’s that they beat themselves up harder than any dominant could.

Okay, time to stop typing before this sounds like some poor attempt at gathering leniency through sympathy.

Hmmm, seems I’m in a dramatic mood today. Ugh.

Okay, off to shower and head off to mend fences.

Have a good weekend, everyone. I’m sure going to try to.