Sleepless In Vancouver

Last night was a very rough night.

It started out wonderfully with amazing greek food and a bottle of Retsina with a few of my favourite people.

Once I crawled into bed it all went downhill. I think it may be the early stages of menopause (gasp!!) and the stress of trying to arrange everything to get into this college program. My free time is so limited right now with working longer hours and trying to fit in medical appointments, college tests and everything else.

My boss is being fairly supportive of the process but when I approached her for a personal day in order to schedule a writing assessment she was unwilling to grant it without docking me a day wages.

Needless to say when one is contemplating 2 years as a full-time student you start counting every dollar in advance. I just can't afford it.

I was very upset. Partly hormones I guess, but also frustration with a work standard that punishes you for being honest and ethical. Had I just kept my mouth shut and called in sick everything would have been fine.

You'd think I'd learn after all these years that playing by the rules gets you nowhere in the work place. At least not in my present workplace. Lying seems to be the only way to go. And I can't stand being forced to lie.

<-- insert sound of palm smacking forehead repeatedly.

It really is just the straw that broke the camel's back. I have no time to fool around on the phone trying to schedule and re-schedule appointments into the few weekend hours available. Let alone free time to actually follow through on them.

Without R. I might have given up already. He's been very pro-active about taking on some of the calling and scheduling, and keeps me calm when I start to get overwhelmed.

Last night he had to suffer through my late night tears, insomnia, and the fact that I couldn't stop doing math in my brain every time I tried to close my eyes.

I finally spent two very late night hours on the couch reading a book. I've heard of people doing this but have never suffered from sleep issues so I was miserable at the thought of forsaking bed when all I wanted was to sleep.

I have better empathy for insomniacs now.

Off to see a movie with J. while R. holds proverbial hands with the 'Nucks via TV tonight.

Hopefully there'll be a full night's sleep tonight. Of course, I was naughty and did almost 3 hours of math work this afternoon so I may be kicking myself in fractions, decimals and percentages tonight...somewhere around 2 am, perhaps?

::sigh::

PS, thanks for the sip of Ouzo last night, J.!! ::grin:: I've decide your unwillingness to give up your olives for me in no way jeopardizes your best-girlfriend status - after all you did give me L.'s olive. (Girlfriends take precedence over boyfriends sometimes, eh?)