I'm A Cow

I'm A Cow. Enjoy!

A Totally Tuesday Rant....

Yes, I know it's Wednesday, but gosh-dang-it, I never got a moment yesterday to check into fetlife to see what new prompts came up.

So here's my rant...a day late but just as full of rant-y goodness.

I really, really hate that it's impossible to find a corset that makes my boobs stand straight out like some iron chest plate on an operatic Valkyrie.

Just once I'd like to be able to rest my ample chin on my equally ample bosom and know that if I turn around I'm in danger of putting someone's eye out.

Now, my boobs are not small, they're not perky. I'm still arguably perky at the fine age of almost-fifty but my boobs weren't perky past my thirteenth year, I suspect.

(A moment of silence for my lost perky-boobed-youth...)

I try in vain but everything I do fails. Gravity wins, and the little pink exclamation points on the over-padded paragraphs that compose my mammary endowment still gaze, in great timidity and humility, at the floor.

::sigh::

Cursed, I tell you...I'm cursed.

Cursed with the gift of ample breast-hood.

Science and Engineering can defy gravity in space; it can mount upside-down Xmas trees in hotel lobbies - well, one hotel in my city did, anyway - but they can't make my boobs stand tall and proud.

It's a mystery.

If only Mae West were still around...I bet she'd know the answer.

My Pillow Has Issues...Really!

The Grateful Five...

Today (and everyday) I'm grateful that I was blessed with:

~ a working and creative brain

~ an abundant sense of humour

~ a positive outlook on life that has stood the ravages of time and life

~ a tolerant, open-minded and kinky nature

And most of all, people in my life (like R.!) who appreciate those things.

What are you grateful for?

Pillow Seduction

Seriously, my pillow has a problem...

Biting The Big Apple

The picture to your left is Times Square, taken last night. What an insane place. I love it.

For those of you interested I've uploaded the first of my photos of this trip to New York in my live journal blog, where I use this same handle.

No, I'm not back yet, you'll be getting these updates as they happen.

(Gotta love technology!)

I'm off to attempt the bus system, having gotten a bit of a handle on the subway system. Hopefully I'll end up at the amazing Cathedral Of St. John The Divine.

That's the plan anyway...

Feel free to wander over to LJ during the next 2 weeks and check out the photo slide shows of my visit.

I'll have to owe you the popcorn.

You Can Play Along At Home!

I got tagged on another site to do 7 Random Facts about myself. I'm going to post them here, but just to be contrary (who me, contrary? Heaven forbid!!) I'm not going to tag others.

You may play along at your own discretion...but if you do, please leave me a comment so I can come read?

1. I have a tiny bit of a smart-mouth, but I love being called a good girl. (Wow, there's one no one would've guessed, huh?)

2. I went through a small medical diagnostic procedure because of a heart murmur when I was 10, and I still have a small scar on the inside of my elbow because of it.

3. I lost my virginity at a family campground with a boy I'd grown up thinking was actually my cousin. (He isn't.)

4. I don't like green peppers, and will usually pick them out and leave them in a pile on my plate.

5. I always wanted my name to be Samantha.

6. I had a crush on almost every boy in high school, and most of the male teachers too.

7. My favourite artist of all time is Michael Parkes. (See photo...)

And one free one just to make up for the fact that I'm not going to tag a bunch of other folks:

When I was 15 I went around telling people I really came from Venus not Earth, just because I liked messing with their heads.

(Oh goodness, now that was just plain embarrassing!)