Thursday, August 7, 2008
Friday, July 25, 2008
Friday, July 18, 2008
It's just not like it used to be... In the good old days when things meant something... Back in the days of The Old Guard... In the best European Houses of BDSM...
I read the Fetlife, Collarme, and Alt forums for a reason. They help me stay in the local loop, give me opportunities to learn something new almost everyday, and they inspire me to write. But some days I just want to scream Quit your damn whining!
If you don't like the way others play in the sandbox then get your own sandbox, or turn your back on them and play with someone else. It's a skill you were supposed to master in kindergarten.
BDSM is about exploring your own unique, individual style of loving, of sexual expression, of thrill-seeking, of interacting with other adults. It's not an exclusive club where you have to conform, or play by the management rules. Unless you're at a public event and then you agree to the rules by being there and need to hold to that for the sake of preventing chaos and anarchy, or worse yet the indignity of getting bounced on your ass.
Whining is non-productive and un-sexy. Whining does not make for good dominant form, nor does it make an intricate slave-girl serve more seductive. Cut it out. Now.
If you want to see good things happen in your online or local BDSM community then go out and do good things. It just might make things a little nicer out there in Alternative Lifestyle Land. Meanwhile, cut the complaining about other people's relationships, scenes, or rope/corset/paddle choices. Live and let live.
Thank you for listening to this little bit of rabid ranting, and please, continue on with what you were doing.Nothing more to see here, folks.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Being on holiday visiting the family is always nice. I get along great with my family and enjoy my time with them. (Very lucky that way...) Staying at my parents always felt like being at a hotel. Good food, great bed, all the amenities of a 5 star place. Nice change from looking after myself 24/7.
But this time feels different. I'm miss being tucked in at night, miss being R.'s little girl.
We talk every evening before bed but it's not the same as having him sit on the edge of the bed, tuck the sheets around me, and kiss me good-night. I truly feel like a little girl, all safe and sound.
A little girl just needs her daddy, I guess.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
In the Fetlife forum today we had a discussion about whether we would still be interested in kink if it were in the mainstream, as an accepted norm of social/sexual behaviour. The poster wondered about the concept of some people jumping into a kink lifestyle mainly because of its social stigma.
In the 1980's the media claimed that people eager to jump on the latest cool fad might be the cause of the sudden "rise" in people identifying as bisexual or gay.
It was also said that many people were identifying as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgendered in order to gain attention or punish their families. It was also theorized that it was a sign of anti-social behaviour, or just a phase in most cases.
These claims were no more valid about sexual orientation then, as they are about BDSM now, which, for some of us, is also a sexual orientation, as well as a personality trait.
Sure, it’s easier to get involved now then it has ever been and that likely means more people who are curious will be likely to experiment. But to say people are seeking gay or kinky relationships because they want to be cool, radical, or antisocial is a narrow, perhaps reactionary, view.
More people appear to be gay and/or kinky now simply because more people are finding it easier to come out of their closets and admit who and what they are. For many people - and in many countries - the consequences are no longer so formidable. More and more people are finding that it’s easier to accept and seek fulfillment of their true needs than it is to live with the discomfort of denial.
As for whether it would change my kinky nature…Nope, not a chance. As many said before me on the forum, I am who I am; that’s not going to change. I believe I was born with this genetic predisposition and I'm happy with the cards I was dealt.
Do I wish the lifestyle were more accepted? Absolutely! I hate hiding who I am, it’s exhausting and annoying to have to have your guard up about such a large part of your life.
Do I wish more people would jump on the kink bandwagon? Absolutely! More kinksters means more choice of play partners and relationship potential.
All in all, I’m content with how the lifestyle is gaining acceptance, and I’m content with the ease in which information about munches and parties can be found. The internet and the concurrent rise of public events have made my life socially active, and emotionally satisfying. I’m happier now than I have ever been.
As for being kinky in general, this is the genetic hand I was dealt, and I see no reason to complain. Your mileage may vary.