In the Fetlife forum today we had a discussion about whether we would still be interested in kink if it were in the mainstream, as an accepted norm of social/sexual behaviour. The poster wondered about the concept of some people jumping into a kink lifestyle mainly because of its social stigma.
In the 1980's the media claimed that people eager to jump on the latest cool fad might be the cause of the sudden "rise" in people identifying as bisexual or gay.
It was also said that many people were identifying as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgendered in order to gain attention or punish their families. It was also theorized that it was a sign of anti-social behaviour, or just a phase in most cases.
These claims were no more valid about sexual orientation then, as they are about BDSM now, which, for some of us, is also a sexual orientation, as well as a personality trait.
Sure, it’s easier to get involved now then it has ever been and that likely means more people who are curious will be likely to experiment. But to say people are seeking gay or kinky relationships because they want to be cool, radical, or antisocial is a narrow, perhaps reactionary, view.
More people appear to be gay and/or kinky now simply because more people are finding it easier to come out of their closets and admit who and what they are. For many people - and in many countries - the consequences are no longer so formidable. More and more people are finding that it’s easier to accept and seek fulfillment of their true needs than it is to live with the discomfort of denial.
As for whether it would change my kinky nature…Nope, not a chance. As many said before me on the forum, I am who I am; that’s not going to change. I believe I was born with this genetic predisposition and I'm happy with the cards I was dealt.
Do I wish the lifestyle were more accepted? Absolutely! I hate hiding who I am, it’s exhausting and annoying to have to have your guard up about such a large part of your life.
All in all, I’m content with how the lifestyle is gaining acceptance, and I’m content with the ease in which information about munches and parties can be found. The internet and the concurrent rise of public events have made my life socially active, and emotionally satisfying. I’m happier now than I have ever been.
As for being kinky in general, this is the genetic hand I was dealt, and I see no reason to complain. Your mileage may vary.
4 comments:
I wish it were a little more accepted as well. I have a hard time connecting with people when I have to keep so much of me hidden.
I know what you mean. :-)
great post girl.
i'm in the deepest of deep South - and "folks" 'round here would FREAK out if they knew about me and "my Master."
But Hey! i'm more fulfilled than i've ever been.
kJ
Some places are definitely safer than others for full disclosure. Vancouver, BC is a big, laid-back city so here almost anything goes.
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